i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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