He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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