I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I looked at my own cervix.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
