Slut skills are useful in every country.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I believe in your delicious
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
