I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
