No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
