I heard we made out
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
