bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
