I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
