In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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