I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
