dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize