covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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