i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
