I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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