singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
