JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
