I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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