last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
