It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize