I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
