im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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