I got chris browned last night
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize