u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
