Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
