Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
