She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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