I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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