He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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