While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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