I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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