you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
