I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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