the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize