Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
