I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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