I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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