I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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