Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
