maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
