i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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