I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
