Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
