'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize