Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
two words...techno handjob
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
