Can i not drive my cunt home
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
