Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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