you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
