My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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