My nipple is on Facebook.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
