somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize