so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize