I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
vagina is talking i cant
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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