Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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